A Parent Wants Your SSN for Taxes. Get an EIN Instead.

It's the second week of January and a mom hands you a blank form at pickup. "My accountant said I need your Social Security number for our taxes." She's not being nosy. She needs it to claim the child and dependent care credit, and her tax software won't let her finish without it. (If it's actually a grandparent or other relative handing you that form instead of the parent, that's a slightly different situation worth its own look — see our guide to a relative paying tuition.)

But you're standing in your own kitchen being asked to write your SSN on a piece of paper that will travel home in a diaper bag, sit on somebody's counter, get photographed and emailed to a tax preparer you've never met. Multiply that by five families. That's a reasonable thing to feel uneasy about.

Here's the part most providers don't know: she is entitled to a taxpayer identification number from you, but it does not have to be your Social Security number. You can get an Employer Identification Number from the IRS, free, in about ten minutes, and hand that out instead — to every family, every year, forever.

What Form W-10 actually is

Form W-10 is called "Dependent Care Provider's Identification and Certification." It exists for exactly this conversation.

The IRS describes its purpose plainly: a taxpayer uses it to get the correct name, address, and taxpayer identification number from each person or organization that provides care for their child or dependent, if they plan to claim the child and dependent care credit or use employer-provided dependent care benefits (the kind that come out of a paycheck into a dependent care FSA).

Two things about it surprise people:

It is never filed with the IRS. Not by the parent, not by you. The parent keeps it in their own records as backup for what they wrote on their return. The actual number lands on their Form 2441, which is what gets filed. So the W-10 is a private handoff between two people, not a government submission.

You fill out only a small part of it. The provider section asks for your name, your address, your taxpayer identification number, and your signature certifying the information is correct. The parent completes the section identifying themselves as the person who paid you. That's the whole form. It is one page and takes ninety seconds.

Some parents will hand you an actual W-10. Plenty won't — they'll ask by text, or their preparer will just want "the daycare's tax ID." The form isn't mandatory as a format. What matters is that the parent makes a real effort to get your correct information and keeps proof of it, and that you give correct information. A W-10 is simply the cleanest way for both of you to have that on paper.

Why an EIN, and why it's the right answer here

An EIN is a federal tax ID for a business. Corporations have them. So can a solo home daycare provider running as a sole proprietor with no employees.

You may not be required to have one. The IRS generally requires an EIN once you have employees, or certain retirement plans, or particular excise or employment tax filings. A solo provider with no staff often doesn't hit any of those triggers. But "not required" isn't the same as "not useful," and for a home daycare the case is strong:

• You stop giving out your SSN. Every family who needs a number for the credit gets the EIN. Same for a W-9 if a subsidy agency or an employer's FSA administrator asks for one.
• It reads as a business. When a parent's preparer sees an EIN, the operation looks like a small business rather than an informal arrangement. That's the framing you want everywhere — it's the same reason it's worth registering a business name properly rather than operating as just your first and last name.
• It costs nothing and never expires. One application, done once.
• It's the same number every year for every family. You can print it on your tuition receipts and invoices and on the annual statement you give families in January, and the January question mostly stops being asked.

One caution worth saying out loud: an EIN is not a shield. Your daycare income is still reported on your personal return as a sole proprietor, and the IRS can connect the EIN to you. The point isn't hiding — it's not circulating your SSN to households you don't control.

How to get one, step by step

The IRS issues EINs directly through an online application, and it is free. The IRS says so on its own page, along with a warning worth repeating: beware of websites that charge for an EIN. Several services rank well in search, look official, and charge for a form you can complete yourself in one sitting. You never have to pay for an EIN.

What to know before you sit down:

1. Have your SSN or ITIN ready. You're the "responsible party," and the application asks for your own number to verify who you are. This is between you and the IRS — it doesn't go to parents.
2. Finish in one session. The application can't be saved and resumed. It also times out after a period of inactivity, so don't start it during nap transition.
3. The online tool has limited hours. It isn't available 24/7, and the current window is posted on the IRS application page. Check it before you plan your afternoon around it.
4. Your principal place of business must be in the US or its territories — which, for a home daycare, it is.
5. One EIN per responsible party per day. Not usually an issue, but it means you can't spin up several in an afternoon.

If it's approved, the EIN is issued immediately on screen. Save the confirmation letter as a PDF and print a copy. Put the printed copy where you keep your license and insurance paperwork, because you will be asked for this number by someone at the worst possible moment.

If you'd rather not use the online tool, the IRS also accepts the paper application by mail or fax; those routes take considerably longer, and the current processing times are on the IRS site.

What if you just say no?

You can refuse to give any identification. It doesn't work out the way people hope.

Federal law requires a dependent care provider to furnish a valid taxpayer identification number to the person paying for care, even if the provider isn't otherwise required to file a return, and there's a penalty on the books for failing to do it. The current amount is on the IRS's information return penalty pages — don't take a number from a forum post.

Meanwhile, the parent isn't stuck. If you refuse, the IRS tells them to write "See Attached Statement" in the columns they can't fill in, attach an explanation that you didn't give them the information they requested, and file. They still have a path to the credit as long as they can show they made a serious, earnest effort to get your information — which is exactly what a copy of the W-10 they handed you proves.

So the realistic outcome of refusing is: the parent files a statement to the IRS naming your business as the provider who wouldn't identify itself, and you take on penalty exposure. That is a lot of downside to avoid a ten-minute application.

There's one version of this that isn't about privacy at all — a provider who isn't reporting the income and doesn't want a paper trail. That's a different problem with much worse consequences, and it's worth untangling with a professional rather than through a W-10 refusal. Payment apps have made this harder anyway; the 1099-K forms Venmo and PayPal now issue create a record whether or not a parent ever names you.

Handling the request gracefully

The smoothest version of this is one you run, not one that runs you.

• Keep a few blank W-10s printed. When a family enrolls, fill in your section, sign it, and hand it over with the enrollment packet. The tax conversation is then already done in September, not fumbled in April.
• Give the EIN in writing, never verbally at the door. A number heard over a screaming toddler gets transcribed wrong, and a wrong digit bounces the parent's return. If you already handed one over and later spot the error yourself, see our guide to correcting a W-10 after the fact rather than hoping the parent notices first.
• Put the EIN on every receipt. Cheap insurance against the same question five times.
• If a parent pushes for your SSN specifically because their software has a field labeled "SSN," the answer is that you're a business and the field takes an EIN. Their preparer will know what to do with it.

None of this is tax advice — it's general information, and how it lands depends on how your business is structured and what state you're in. Before your first filing season, spend an hour with a tax pro who actually knows family child care. The good ones will pay for themselves on the time-space percentage alone.

Where DaycareFlow fits

DaycareFlow doesn't file anything with the IRS and doesn't generate W-10s. What it does is keep the underlying record straight, which is where most of the January pain actually comes from.

Each child has a profile with their parents' names and contact details, a billing rate and frequency, and an attendance record you confirm as it happens — so when a family asks what they paid last year, you're reading a record instead of scrolling back through a payment app. One-click year-end statements are coming; today the raw material is there and organized.

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Frequently asked questions

Do I have to give parents my Social Security number for daycare?

You have to give them a valid taxpayer identification number, but it doesn't have to be your SSN. If you get an Employer Identification Number from the IRS, you can give that instead, and most home daycare providers do exactly that to keep their SSN out of circulation.

Can a sole proprietor home daycare get an EIN with no employees?

Yes. An EIN isn't limited to businesses with employees — a sole proprietor can apply for one and use it as the business's tax ID. You may not be required to have one, but it's free and it solves the SSN problem permanently.

Is Form W-10 filed with the IRS?

No. Form W-10 is a private exchange between you and the parent. The parent keeps it in their own records as proof of the information you gave them, and the number itself goes onto their Form 2441 when they file.

How much does it cost to get an EIN?

Nothing. The IRS issues EINs for free through its own application, and warns taxpayers about third-party sites that charge for them. If a website is asking you for a fee, you're not on the IRS site.

What happens if I refuse to give a parent my tax ID?

The parent can still pursue the credit by attaching a statement to their return saying you didn't provide the information they requested. You, meanwhile, may face a federal penalty for failing to furnish a valid taxpayer identification number, since the law requires a care provider to give one to the person paying for care.